[for rian]

[fairywren]

Wren is kind of a teenager when it comes to processing emotions sometimes, complete with flopping on the couch. Where it comes to exes (The Ex, there's only really the one and he's an ex-everything, as Wren tried to explain in spelled out sign language once to Hana), there's no exception there, just more dancing around the subject. He fights it, hides himself in music, makes faces at Hana who gives him a look like he's being a little stupid that doesn't make him feel like it. (Apologizes to Hana for talking about his ex. Gets looked at like he's being a little stupid.)

But after the - whole mummy thing - the gut reaction to Rian in danger, in maybe danger, it's running in his veins. They've got to talk. There's got to be some middle ground. They're not the naive children they were once upon a time, they know better than to expect fantasies about each other, and that means acting like it.

So he leaves a terse message on Rian's machine, and a weird text conversation later he's sitting at Quill watching the colors of coffee and milk swirl into each other and waiting, and thinking.

Comments

[wastelandflower]

"Why the hell did we meet over caffeine? I need to be drunk for this conversation," Rian says. He smiles ruefully and shakes his head because they both know this is a conversation that needs to be had while sober, serious.

"I don't want to go from you being everything to you and then be nothing at all. I don't imagine you want to do that either." He hopes so at least. "But I don't know how to not look at you and burn. I mean...we always did that, you know? Burned bright and fast." And then burned out.

They need to figure out how to do things evenly, moderately. They've always been shit at that.

"But I do want to figure this out."

And say it. God he needs to just say it.

"And apologize for what I said. That's what I should say first."

[fairywren]

Wren raises a wry eyebrow; he wouldn't mind being a little intoxicated either, but that would just lead to one of a limited number of endings, none of which are talking things out the way they need to be. Or even talking about talking things out.

He takes a breath. That strikes right to his heart, and Wren isn't sure how he'd react if he was someone other than he is. Who he is is relatively impassive, through nature or adaptation, and the hard swallow and stare at Rian and the way his hands tighten on the cup he's holding feel like he's broadcasting his emotions on a giant billboard.

They did, whether angry or enraptured or creating. Kindling. He doesn't know how to stop it either. But he's tired of being all light and no warmth.

"Yeah," he says and nods. He just takes it in; it's a lot to take. "I -- That's why I called you." Because he wants to figure it out.

"Are you going to?" he asks after a second, because he's an asshole, but it's gentle, and smiling a little, and a little overwhelmed.

[wastelandflower]

Rian raises an eyebrow right back, silently reminding Wren of why they aren't drinking now. He takes in the way that Wren's hands tighten, the threat of a frown on his face, and Rian takes a deep breath. The first part needs to come first. "I'm sorry I was a shithead and called your gi--Hana--I'm sorry I said what I said about Hana. I'd no right and it was a shitty thing to do."

Swallowing his pride has never looked good on Rian, but for Wren, for who they were, he's got to try.

"And if you teach me the sign language to say I'm sorry, I'll pass the message on to her as well."

So, hopefully, that's step one.

[fairywren]

It's almost still a surprise, despite the tease and despite Rian saying he needed to say it. Some part of Wren just isn't expecting it and it feels like a kit.

"It's all right. I mean." What the hell do you say to apologies. "Thank you." He gives Rian a look like never promised to be good at this .

That second part, though, means more almost, after the way Rian had reacted to him signing. After the way Wren had used it against him. "Like this," he says. He makes a loose fist and circles it over his chest, lets his eyes relax into real apology as he glances across at Rian. "I'm sorry."

[wastelandflower]

"It's not all right," he says, because he knows Wren that well, at least. "But thanks."

Rian closes a fist over his heart to replicate the gesture. It's a good one, he thinks. Like rubbing your heart in sympathy or trying to send something back to make up for what's going on. It's tactile and visceral; he likes it.

"I'm sorry too."

[fairywren]

Wren shrugs one shoulder at him. Rian knows him well enough to know it's not, and also to know that he doesn't know how to be formal and polite, and he knows Rian well enough to know that if he's apologizing he means it. "Well, I forgive you, then," he says.

Wren chews on the inside of his lip and smiles a little, uncertain. "So what do we do now?"

[wastelandflower]

It feels a lot better than he expects it to when Wren forgives him. It's not forgiveness for everything, but it's a start. The door it leaves wide open is a bit harder though.

"I guess we try and live in this town and be neighborly and do our very best not to kill each other," Rian suggests, somewhere in the middle between humor and sincerity.