snow on snow on snow [closed to hana]

[fairywren]

Snow may be falling, but that doesn't mean the dog doesn't need to be walked. Wren's a silhouette against it, big flakes that fall thickly and in swirls that quickly camouflage Inari's curious figure except for a black nose and eyes and threaten to cover up the dark of Wren's coat. There's almost - but not quite - enough cloud cover that the glitter of the crystals is smothered.

There's a quietness to it, a silent expectant feeling that only comes with falling snow.

It's getting cold quickly, though, too, and he cups his hands around his phone, pulling it out to text Hana as he waits for the dog to come back. Tell me you're not stuck feeding tigers in this, he texts with a small smile.

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[fairywren]

It's the source of my power he says with a deadpan expression, but can't help it and grins.

[suisen]

She can't catch herself before a hum of laughter escapes and Hana reaches out, ruffling his hair.

You're gorgeous, she assures him, pretending it's a terrible burden.

[fairywren]

He makes a face at the ruffle and smiles, wider for that little uncensored bubble of laughter. He's a collection of weird parts, but if Hana thinks that's gorgeous he's not going to protest.

We already agreed you're perfection, he says back, I'm just keeping up.

I like making you laugh, he admits with a thoughtful smile after a moment, looking at her, and it feels oddly like he's said something more serious than that, but it's just honest.

[suisen]

It is a bit more serious than perhaps he'd intended and Hana blushes, ducking her head away for just a second. Even if it sounds weird?

She can't hear her own voice. When she does make noise, it's typically low and deep in her throat so that she can perceive at least some of it. What barely registers for her is often loud and alien to hearing people.

[fairywren]

Wren isn't polite. He isn't interested in being what other people prefer, or what they like: trying to do it has only ever ended up awful. He doesn't care about it in other people.

He loves veracity: raw, unexpected, inescapable, unpreventable.

So yes, her laugh is different, unmodulated for his hearing ears but it's brilliant and honest, all the more so for escaping the walls she's put up. Laughter, pleasure, they're freedoms.

He sits up, a little; it's his turn to tip her head to look at him. He nods yes and signs, "it's not WEIRD, it's -YOU."

[suisen]

The more time they spend together as a couple, the more she's starting to realize the unconscious ways that some of her less accommodating partners have taught her to modify her behaviors. Wren doesn't ask that of her. She'd spent so much time determined to live on her own terms but still caved in places.

Wren celebrates her. Even her weird job and her deafness and the ways it alters her interactions. All of her. It makes it easier to be herself.

She only hopes she does the same for him.

You're the first person to say that.

[fairywren]

Wren blinks at her, taking that in. He can believe it - people are kind of shitty, he knows this -- but at the same time it just seems so stupid and wrong.

I shouldn't be, he says, and reaches to trace her cheek, leans in to kiss her with a kind of fierce affection that almost surprises him.

[suisen]

It surprises her too. She feels it as much through the kiss as she does with her powers, burning bright and drawing her to it. Gently, she weaves her fingers into his hair and presses back into the kiss.

Even without her empathy, she can feel the change, the increased fierceness of the kiss. Smiling, Hana cups his face and thinks again that she really could fall in love with him.

[fairywren]

He presses close, letting himself get caught up in it, her fingers in his hair, the feel of her body warm against him.

He runs his free hand down over her side, lazy, like he's mapping her, and blinks at her when she pulls back.

What are you thinking?

[suisen]

How easy it would be to fall in love with you, Hana explains. She worries that it's too much too soon, but they promised honesty and this is the unadorned truth. The connection they've forged means a lot to her and already she knows that their relationship is different from the last few she's had.

Even though she's nervous of the admission, she wants to do right by them both by being brave.

[fairywren]

He can feel his stomach twist at that admission, his chest tighten with something that might be fear and might be hope and is terrified either way. But he asked her, didn't he, to be honest. He can feel that she's nervous; even if she's not projecting it he's lying close enough to feel her tense.

He wants to say she's wrong, he wants to ask her why, tell her he's a disaster, he wants to run a little, but if he's learned anything it's that love isn't something controllable and it's not fair of him to try. And there's a very real part of him that doesn't want to. He can't tell which instinct is more rational: running or never wanting to move again.

He lets out the breath he didn't realize he was holding and leans his head in against hers, like it can keep them both safe. Don't he signs wryly, I like you too much.

[suisen]

She can feel that sorrow in him and Hana frowns a little, threading their fingers and twining them close, her version of a moment of silence. Raising their hands, Hana kisses his knuckles, the back of his hand, and lingers there. Calm radiates from her, sliding questioningly out for him if he wants it.

I'm not very good with being told what to do, she reminds him. He's the last person to tell her to ignore her heart.

Why do you think it'd be so bad?

Since they're in a sharing mood.

[fairywren]

Wren twines their fingers, lets himself be stilled for a minute and just watches her, smiling slightly when she kisses his hand. When he lets down his walls, it's slowly and all at once, and Hana seems less phased than most people by fear.

He can feel her offer calm and he draws on it, though to be honest just lying quiet with her feels a little strengthening.

He smirks at that reminder. Neither is he.

Wren takes a breath. Love isn't always enough, he signs, cryptic, then adds, The last person who tried - we don't talk. How to explain Rian in a fair way? They'd been everything, once. Rian and Lexi were the first people who'd made Wren feel belonging anywhere. For years Rian was family, creative partner, lover, friend. Most of their conversations were half unspoken.

I loved him, he explains. But I'm a stubborn disaster. I don't want to...I can't hurt you like that. And I don't want to lose you, either.

[suisen]

The smile is what she wants and Hana thanks him with a little smile of her own. With Wren, the way their powers twine and marry, even his raw fear is easier than the tumult of emotions she feels when walking in a crowd. He's familiar and their language is singular.

Hana looks at him with a practical sort of face, one that suggests that that should be obvious. Of course love isn't always enough, she replies. Love is... How to express what she thinks without losing him in the signs?

It's like planting a garden. If you're lucky, all you have to do is throw the seeds into the soil and it takes hold without any effort. But most people have to put more into it. Time. Attention. Water. Plant food. Hard work. Love is the seeds and soil, the foundation, but it rarely flourishes without attendance.

But that doesn't make it painless when it goes wrong.

[fairywren]

Her unafraid, logical response does a lot to anchor his runaway fear, and he pays close attention as she talks. Not all the signs are familiar to him, but in context he understands.

Wren shakes his head no in agreement to that last bit with a flicker of a raised eyebrow. It definitely doesn't.

I love flowers, he says with a little bit of a smile. Somehow the pun is easier than saying too much. But a smart gardener doesn't choose rock to plant in.

He's been told enough times how selfish he is, ungrateful, afraid: he's pretty sure he doesn't qualify as anything nurturing. Though if anyone was the vine to break through sidewalk he suspects Hana is: she's determined. Much moreso than he is.

[suisen]

Hana's had to live pragmatically, even before running away from home. In this case, she's talking about love needing work, but it's true for her of all friendships. Outside of the deaf community, any form of communication, any friendship takes effort and patience. It can be hard and heartbreaking, but so can plenty of other things.

You're not a rock, Hana signs. Just a rock star.

And if he's willing to try with her, Hana's not afraid of seeing what can grow.

Tonight got heavy. Weren't we supposed to eat cookies and watch the snow?

[fairywren]

He smirks at the play on words: even if he's dubious about her fearlessness, he can't deny it, and he nudges her into a kiss.

Artists, so dramatic, he signs, and smiles in apology, shifting to stretch past her and grab a cookie to hold up with a penitent look.

[suisen]

Very dramatic. Smiling, Hana leans over and gives him a brief kiss before taking another cookie and touching it to his in a silly toast.

She has faith in them.